Je t'aime Le Eyebrows

OUI OUI!

A French persons eyebrows, which have naturally grown into the new trend for brow shape and accordingly are ideal as an example of this seasons brow shape. FYI said French person was wearing a ralph lauren sweater with leather elbow patches- which as we all know can only mean one of three things, and he was not gay/an academic. We do have a confirm on lover of horses who works in the equine industry. Dashing brows and a very good sport.

HOT NEW SHAPE FOR BROWS

The reason my own brows are looking so unkempt in the centre is because I am growing them out to join the fun wagon for this seasons new shape.

1. Ninety degree angle at the inside of the brow (between the eyes), no more gradual curving across- OMFG that is so last year. We are going for the blunt look now ladies so get with it.

2. Minimal arch- what we are looking for is a low lying thick brow with a minor arch.

3. Darkened- yes get out the tool bag and find some dark eye shadow then trace over with a clear mascara to tame any contumacious outliers.

4. Take your brows out into the world and just be yourself. Enjoy the power of the brow. Relax.

Browzing

Nobrows

Contestant from The Block who wields absolutely no power through her brows.

Possibly substitutes it with the gap in her teeth, which is considered lucky in some cultures.

Except unfortunately for her not our culture.

 

Say Sorry

Based on an unfortunate experience I once had when shaving my forearms, I will bet $5 that John Howard shaved off his eyebrows at Uni and they grew back thicker. They actually look like stick on brows from the below "stylish eyebrow collection".

BIG brows

I just found Madeline McCann- She was lost in Sandy Cohens eyebrows.

These are king of the manbrows. They could eat Zac Effrons boybrows for an entree. These brows say "I am capable of raising a street smart teen who winds up in the midst of the high-class society of Newport Beach."  I expect that when he is in Court it would go like this:

SC: "Objection your honour!"

Judge: "On what ground?"

SC: "My eyebrows"

Judge: "Sustained. In fact, you win the case. With costs. On a full indemnity basis."

He would be less of a man and lawyer without them.

Famous peoples eyebrows

Famous people have no excuse but to get everything right. Except where we want them to do things that are wrong, in which case being wrong is right (example: Todd McKenney announcing he took his pants off due to the hot breeze then someone planted GBH in said pants then he woke up on top of a fence in a park. Excellent).  In particular, celebrities should have a skill set that encompasses the following:

a) Entertain us

b) Look amazing all the time
c) Hook up with other famous people
d) Let those people make sex tapes of them

e) Threaten legal action when sex tapes are accidentally released

f) Have great eyebrows 24/7

If a celebrity cant do those simple things, then they should stop cluttering the pages of Who! with their tired B-grade tirades.

Please see below pictures of famous peoples eyebrows (or lack thereof for MJ and Marcia Cross) for your amusement.

BoyBrows

I bring you exhibit A- Z : Zac Effron.

You could set your watch to these BoyBrows.

Please enjoy the cascade of images of Zac Effron and his Metrobrows.

Smoulden Arches : Avoiding the Slug

Scared of the slug? We all are. Slugs make otherwise confident powerbrowettes look like dickheads with heaps of shit on top of their eyeballs. Slugs ruin it for everybody.

So how to avoid them? There are two golden rules:


1.  Do not loose your arches; and
2. Stay between the lines.

Do not loose your arches

Make sure you maintain your arch. And if you are feeling confident, illuminate your arch to give the appearances of impossible height. Use a translucent colour of eye shadow and trace the arch. This is like a shot in the arm to your Powerbrow.

Stay between the lines.

Its not rocket science- stay within the bounds of your existing brows. Don’t try to draw on more brows. We have all seen tragic asian brattoos. Im not judging, maybe they were born without eyebrows or something, which is totes sad. But that’s not what this is about. Just focus on putting stuff on the existing eyebrow and if you go outside, then wash it off. 

Slugs: the antithesis of the power brow

The Powerbrow turns heads. It makes things happen. When the Powerbrow says jump, the corporate world says “How high”. But like any powerstation- the power brow has an arch nemesis- the Slugs.

Nobody means to style their face in the style of a 1970s croation immigrant. But it happens. And the scary part is- it could happen to you.  If you own an eyepencil and havent read this you are in danger.

Slugs are the result of overzealous application of brow pencil/smouldering stick/eye shadow applicator/mascara wand/<insert stuff you found in your makeup bag then put in your eyebrows here>. Now I am ALL FOR putting inordinate amounts of stuff in your eyebrows, the more the merrier, im not happy unless its like an Alicia Keys concert in there. However, the moment you cross the brow line on either side- youre in big trouble. Its enemy lines back there. If you do that- you go from “She said JUMP corporate monkey” to “Whats up with her face- awkward”. For ease of reference, I have set out some examples of slugs below.

Hell hath no fury like the power brow

This blog was the lovechild of an enterprising colleague, a power outage and an insatiable love for the blackened brow.

The brows are the middle child of the face; the Zac of Hanson, the Lindsay Lohan of the Bratpack; the facial feature that is seen and not heard. And in this cruel world where our eyeballs are now largely safe from falling debris, they are a feature in serious danger of slipping into evolutionary redundancy.

But to their critics and those who are indifferent – I say nay! Women pull your hands out of the sink and into some black stuff- then put it in your brows. This is a blog dedicated to the come back of the heavy set, over stated, diva-esque bullish brows. Ladies and Gents: Send a mental memo to your face- the PowerBrow is back.